Wifely Check Up

The beginning of the year always causes me to take stock of certain aspects of my life.

My budget, for one. My schedule, how I spend my time. The relationships in my life.

One important relationship stands out the most. My relationship with Wade. More specifically, what I am doing to be purposeful in that relationship.

When something is important to me, I like to, fairly consistently, evaluate what my level of engagement/commitment is and define my goals/direction in regards to that thing. Therefore, every so often I do that with my marriage, and sort of evaluate my wifely progress. I like to look at where I've come from, how I'm doing, and how I can improve. Occasionally I do this because I am having an issue with something (Usually my own attitude), but I also run a wifely check up as a "preventive maintenance" type deal at times as well. Here's how I do it:

Read things that cause me to think:
I usually start with getting out my bible and reading Proverbs 31:10-31. Slowly. Stopping to think about each verse, and how it pertains to me and my role as a wife. I have several journals I've kept over the years and I like to read my thoughts about Proverbs 31, and how they've changed and been refined over the years. This year, I also read the blog entries I wrote about being a wife. (I know that may seem weird, reading my own writing, but it really convicts me and makes me want to live up to the standards I profess to hold.) Here are those posts:
Wifely Duties
Wifely Contentment
Wifely Battles

...after I'm in the right mindset to think seriously about my goals as a wife, there are three main areas that I consider when I think about how to be an excellent wife to Wade. Here they are:

Tangible, Practical Support:
These are all of the things I do, on a day to day basis, to take care of Wade. Making his lunch, making sure he has clean clothes, making phone calls or running errands..... these are all practical ways I help him. As I think about this area of my life, I like to make sure I have enough time during the week to consider ways that I could be of assistance to Wade, and make sure I am asking him, at least once or twice a week, if there's anything I can do for him- pick up items at the store, make a certain dinner he's craving, run something to the cleaners...etc.... Often he won't need anything, but I know he feels cared about when I ask.

 I also try and consider how things are going for him at work, and set aside time to allow him to recharge in the manner that's best for him (Which just so happens to be the opposite of my way). For example, if he's had a long day at work, I know he likes the house tidy and fairly quiet/calm when he gets home. (I am not quiet, normally, so I have to muzzle myself.) If he's had a stressful week, sometimes being home with just our family is what he needs. There are times when I have to think about that, because I love doing things with friends and tend to pack our schedule full of outings.

Another practical way I fulfill my role as a wife is to make food that is (At least somewhat) healthy and appealing for Wade. He feels so much better (Like we all do) when he is eating nutritious meals. Making sure he has something quick but healthy for breakfast, packing him a filling lunch, and consistently making good dinners are ways I tangibly show my care for him.

Spiritual Encouragement/Prayer:
Sometimes my prayers for Wade get pretty darn sad. They turn in to my own request list, in prayer form. As I thought through how to best be praying for my husband, lots of things came to mind. Integrity and good character at work. Wisdom in leading our family. Clarity for creating balance in his life. The list got quite long. As I pray for him every day, it helps me to think of him more clearly as his own person, and not just someone who is in my life to make things easier for me. Does that make sense? Sometimes I get very wrapped up in the things Wade could do/not do that would make my life simpler or more enjoyable in some way. I lose sight of that fact that he is a man that God is working in and through for His glory and purposes. Praying purposefully and thoughtfully for Wade helps me to focus on how to best encourage him in God's will for him.

Another way I encourage Wade spiritually is to give him lots of credit and support when he is shouldering tough moral choices. Whether it's a situation at work, something with a family member, or a big decision for OUR family, I can help by being a good listener and giving my honest opinion, as well as doing my best to understand where he is coming from even if we don't agree.

Emotional and Physical Needs:
I had to chuckle when I was typing this title, because Wade would object to me saying he has emotional needs. He would think that sounds too girly.

...but He does. Even if men don't express their emotions the same way that we chicks do, they need a interested, attentive, uncritical partner, and sometimes a bit of bolstering up. You will have to figure out what that looks like for your guy- I am sure it's different for each of them. It's worth the investment to determine how to give emotional support to your husband. They'll appreciate it. Also, they'll look to you for it, and that's a great compliment. Being needed by your husband is really wonderful.

Another need that I make sure I am taking care of is in the physical department. I address this in my "Wifely Duties" post- but to give it a quick summary- sex is important. Make time for it. Initiate it sometimes. It's fun. That is all.


..to sum it up, our role as "Wife" is very important, and worth taking the time to run a "check up". Be purposeful about how you choose to spend your time, and make sure you are investing enough energy in being an excellent wife. I know, for myself, my priorities can't just be a list, or a statement, they must be reflected in how I spend my time. They have to shine through in my choices.

That won't happen by accident. So be a good wife. On purpose.

Get Moving- Creating an Exercise Routine That Works

I think it is obvious from reading my blog that I am passionate about food. I love food.

Therefore, it is a VERY good thing that I am also passionate about exercise. It makes me feel good- allows me to set and accomplish goals, improves my energy levels, helps me sleep better...... I just enjoy it!

Over the years, my routine has changed many times, based on what my life situation looks like. When Christopher was a baby and I worked full time, I worked out (very early) at the gym 2 or 3 mornings per week, and walked on the weekends. As Christopher got older and I quit my job, I would work out at the gym 5 days per week in the late afternoon/early evening with Wade. When I was pregnant, I walked and did exercise videos at home mostly.

After I had Nicholas, and all the dust settled, I was a solid 40 lbs overweight. (Don't you just love that?! NOT) I had spent the previous 8 weeks convincing myself that once I hit the 8 week mark, all that extra weight would just be magically gone. Yeah. That didn't happen. (Of course, that didn't have a thing to do with all of the sodas and chocolate chip banana bread I was consuming. It was the BABY that did it I tell you!)

That's when I started running. Before that, I had run a little bit, mostly to warm up for weights, or every so often with my mom. But never much and never regularly. So when I took up running, it was with a rickety baby stroller (I eventually bought a jogging stroller) and a 10 year old trailing on a bike. I had a program that started with 1 minute of running and 1 minute of walking.

So at that time, my routine was 3 days per week of running, and 3 afternoons per week at the gym (I would hit the gym before dinner when it was usually Nicholas' "fussy time"- he wouldn't fuss at the gym child care so it made the afternoons go by so much more quickly!)

Now, when you're setting up an exercise routine, here are the things I like to consider:
(This is where I give the obligatory disclaimer- I am not an exercise expert, nor am I a doctor. These are just my own opinions. Take them or leave 'em...)

Where/how are you going to exercise?
This is a really important thing to determine. You need to consider a few things. If you're going to work out from home and by yourself, are you a self-motivated person? Will you force yourself to do the workout you have planned even when you don't feel like it? Do you have ample room in your home to accommodate the workout? If you aren't a self motivated person, I would suggest doing group classes at a gym or finding some workout partners. (And, for most people, please don't tell me you can't afford the gym. There are membership sales all the time for $29/month, which is less than $7.50 a week. Think for a minute about all of the things you spend $7.50/week on. Your health is worth it.)

When will you exercise?
This, I believe, is the most critical factor to your success in setting up an exercise routine. YOU NEED TO SCHEDULE IT! Get out your calendar (You know, the one that's filled with all your kids' activities) and schedule your workouts. Put it on your calendar. Do NOT schedule other things during that time. Get used to saying these words, "I have plans during that time, perhaps x:00 would work instead." If you have a family, let them know that this is important to you. Ask for their support. Most of all, know that it is OK to take time to do something healthy for yourself. It sets an awesome example for your kids. There is not one single, solitary thing wrong with you scheduling a reasonable amount of time into your week for exercise.

What are your exercise goals?
Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to gain muscle? There are all kinds of different workout plans and classes at the gym for meeting all kinds of goals. Most gyms offer an initial consultation, that would be a good time to ask questions! Set goals and feel proud when you accomplish them!

BE REALISTIC:
If you have a tightly packed schedule, set a realistic plan for you life. If you are doing zero days of exercise per week right now, and you can schedule two days per week, that's good, great even!! That's 200% more days than what you're doing now! Look at what will work for your life. PLEASE don't set yourself up for failure by planning to work out 5 days per week when you don't have the time for that. Make a plan that you can stick to, so that you have NO excuses.

Finally, just start doing something!! Don't keep waiting for the "right time" to begin exercising! If you can start on a Wednesday, for heaven's sake, you do not need to wait for a Monday to begin! If you feel like you want to start today, go for a walk! Do some push ups or sit ups, or dust off an old work out video and pop it in the dvd player (or the vhs player, or the beta player.....) (This reminds me of a VERY unfortunate Jane Fonda pregnancy workout video I had when pregnant with Christopher... in the era of leotards and tights and leg warmers....lovely)

I have made this point before- we make time for the things that are important to us. If exercise is important to you, spend some time thinking through and creating a workable routine. Then start!!

If you do, I'd love to hear about it!! Email me or comment below!

Happy sweating!

Wifely Battles- In Defense of Arguing

"Fear not those who argue but those who dodge"
~Dale Carnegie


"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict - alternatives to passive or aggressive responses"
~Dorothy Thompson

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"
~Proverbs 27:17
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This is the third post in the "Being a Wife" series that I am working on. The first post is Wifely Duties, and the second post is Wifely Contentment. Please be sure to read my disclaimer in the second post- it basically tells you how imperfect I am. (As though anyone needs a disclaimer for that!)

I got married at a young age. Before I was married, I was very careful to do my pre-marital counselling, pray for all the right things, fill out all the workbook pages on how we would decide the important things....etc....

....I was young. I thought that if I did all the right things, and didn't do any of the wrong things, I would have an idyllic marriage. I thought I could avoid conflict with good intentions.

Guess what?

.....I was wrong.

When Wade and I first had conflict, in the early years of our marriage, I was very, very (VERY) passive aggressive. I would give him the silent treatment, expect him to REALIZE what he did wrong, then explode in anger when he didn't magically acquire the knowledge I was withholding. Needless to say, that wasn't a great method for resolving conflict. I realized that right away, but felt I was stuck in a cycle that I couldn't break. I would be resolute in my desire to be different, but as soon as any important conflict took place, I would resort back to my usual response.

This was frustrating for Wade as well, he would initially try and give me what I wanted, but that was difficult, because he was forced into guessing what I wanted since I wouldn't tell him. The problem was, I had this idea that if he loved me enough, and thought about me enough, he would do or say the right thing to make me happy, to make me not angry.

That was a fairly tumultuous time. One I wouldn't really be thrilled to relive.

There was a turning point in my life when I started to change. (Thank you Lord) Unfortunately, how I decided to THEN resolve conflict was to avoid it by trying to NEVER be angry about things at all. (Yeah, by the way, that doesn't work. All you end up doing is stuffing your anger.)  Even when I was rightly angry about something. I felt that I should just pray about my attitude, and that God would convict Wade when he was wrong, but that I wouldn't argue or fight about things, because I wanted to avoid that. (Just a side note, I think it is a good thing to be praying that God would convict your husband when he is making a bad choice, and praying that YOU would have the right attitude. I just don't think that's a substitute for communicating your feelings to your husband.) The problem with that method (obviously) was that Wade was happily doing things that made me feel totally resentful and taken for granted, and I wasn't ever telling him about those things! Every once in a while I would bring something up that had been bothering me and he was either totally clueless, or he sort of knew it bothered me, but figured if it wasn't a big enough deal for me to talk to him about it, he was going to go ahead and do what he wanted.

Fast forward to the present.

Do you know couples who never argue? Who glide along through life in a seemingly eternal state of bliss and agreement? I do. It's hard not to compare yourself to people like that, isn't it?

I am not convinced that anyone who isn't catatonic actually lives life that way though. No two people agree about EVERYTHING all the time. (If you happen to be the exception to this rule, please accept my apology.)

Now, when Wade and I disagree on something, we argue about it. (Well, according to Wade, we DON'T argue. (even though we do) He says we DISCUSS.)

I am not afraid of arguing anymore. In a way, I sort of embrace it. Let me explain why.

There are some things worth arguing over:
I am not going to argue over what we have for dinner, or what radio station we listen to. But sometimes, when we have a conflict over how to handle a situation with our kids, or how to spend money, or how we should handle a family conflict, the issue is important enough that it is WORTH an argument. My opinion matters. BUT- the only way it is going to matter is if I value my instincts and opinions enough to be passionate and share them with Wade. In our house, he has the final say, but I want to influence him when I feel differently than he feels. There have been times when I've been dead wrong. There have been times when I've been right on the money. Arguing my side allows me to be a partner and not an employee or child. And it allows Wade to see another side to things, which he may not have considered.

Arguing diminishes the power of the "silent treatment" weapon:
I learned, fairly early on in marriage, that when your spouse is treating you unfairly, or making decisions and not considering you, that you have very few healthy tactics with which to respond. I also learned (Actually I didn't learn this, it was already built in, I think...) that there are quite a few unhealthy, manipulative methods you can employ. My weapon of choice was the silent treatment. I got quite skilled at that. The problem is, have you noticed that when you are trying to make your husband "come around" in a conflict, and you use the silent treatment, or whatever your favorite weapon of choice may be, it doesn't actually give you any real power? Because even if you end up getting your way, it's not satisfying- because you know your husband just gave in. It's not a real, lasting solution. Even if you temporarily get what you want, ultimately, the problem that exists is still there. Lurking.

 Another downside to the silent treatment is this: it's hard to withhold your affection from just one person. So generally you have a diminished sense of joy and love toward EVERYONE in your life, not just the person you're intending to ignore. Yuck. If you argue about the problem, even if you don't get your way, there is conversation. You can be heard. You can use the healthy power you DO HAVE- the influence you have over your husband as his partner and someone he respects and loves. And you can hear his reasons, his opinions, his rational for making choices, and maybe understand where he is coming from.

If you argue enough, you get good at it:
Ok, that sounds like a bad thing, but I promise you it isn't! When Wade and I first started to actually argue about important issues, we weren't very skilled at it. So it usually disintegrated into insults. But as the years have gone by, we have learned how to hear what the other person is saying. We have also learned (Most of the time) to keep at it if we don't come to a solution the first go around. I have learned not to take things as personally, since that is a flaw of mine. Wade has learned to be a bit more open to hear me out completely, even when I am saying something he doesn't like. Do we argue perfectly? NOT AT ALL!!! But we both have the same goal in mind- finding a situation or decision that we can both live with- together. And we can find that when we try. Sometimes it is hard-earned, we really have to contend with each other. But thankfully, we've learned how to argue well.

Once you're done arguing, it's DONE:
I think this is my favorite benefit to arguing things through. When you finally DO reach a compromise, you're done! The issue isn't waiting to rear its ugly head again in two days. Or two weeks. Or twenty years. You don't have to keep track of who did what to whom and how many points you have. Arguing until you reach an agreement keeps you on the same team. I know that sounds contrary, but it isn't. I believe that keeping arguments inside instead of voicing them sometimes leads to secretly working against the other person, and having a "his team" and "my team" mentality. When you feel like you have to look out for your own needs because your husband doesn't know what your needs are.... that is divisive. If you feel like you have to hide resources, or information, or anything from your husband because you can't bring it up to him.... that's divisive. Arguing and presenting all the facts to each other keeps you two working as partners. On the same team. Together. One.

One is good.

To sum it up, I am not advocating screaming at one another. Or fighting. Or being unreasonable. What I am suggesting is that when you are in a marriage with someone you respect, they deserve to know what you think. Even when it's different from their opinion. I believe one of the ways I show that I trust Wade is when I let him know what bothers me, what I need, what my opinions are, what I see as the right choice. I can't tell you how much he's changed over the years, and stepped up to the plate, and worked hard to be worthy of that trust. Does he mess up? Of course! Do *I* mess up? Most assuredly! But we keep at it.

If you argue when you disagree, it makes your approval and agreement even more sweet- because your husband can trust that it's real. That's a good gift. He'll know you're not saying one thing and feeling another.

Lastly, I want to just say that I think most men, when they love their wives, want to lay the world at their wife's feet. They just need to know how to do that for you. Trust them enough to be real.

If you don't agree, I'll be happy to argue with you. :)

Once a Week Spring Cleaning- Week #1

So, I thought about doing a long, extensive list and tackling some spring cleaning. Only I didn't have enough time (or energy!) So I thought, why not make a list, but pick one day per week and do a bit at a time?! We can all find a little bit of time once a week, right?



So, what did I tackle this week?


Clutter.

We all have clutter in some part of our home. (Right??! Please tell me you have clutter. Otherwise I will feel embarrassed that I am going to show you my clutter)

Here are some of the areas where I have clutter:

My closet (this is the area where I keep all my athletic gear)

My home school closet

My hall closet

The rest of my closet (besides where I keep my gear)

So this is what you need to do. First, pick an area to declutter. It can be a table, a desk, a closet, a bookshelf,  a pantry.... whatever. If it's too big a job, and feels overwhelming, break it into sections and take 2 or 3 days to do the whole thing. Then, get three spots, bags, containers, Rubbermaid bins.... three areas to put stuff. One is going to be "throw away", one is going to be "give away" and one is going to be "put away". If you're doing your kid's room, I suggest using the black trash bags that aren't see-through. This way, the kids (and YOU) don't see what's in the bag after you stick it in there, so you don't have second thoughts about stuff once it's in the bag. I used Trader Joe's bags for my closet.

Then what I do is take everything out or off of the area to be decluttered. As I do this, I put things into the bags that aren't to go back into that area.

Let's be honest. There are things that need to be thrown away. Either they're broken, or not usable for some reason. PUT THEM IN THE THROW AWAY BAG. Just do it. :) Then, also add things to the give away bag, and to the put away bag. (This can include items that need to be donated, returned to someone else, or given to someone else who can use them) Then when you're done, you can carry the "put away" bag from room to room and put the items where they belong.

Here's my gear area after I was finished.There were some RANDOM things in this area, including crayons, a balloon, a sweatshirt we had gotten for Nicholas with the scout logo on it from when he was a baby, and  yarn. Go figure. I also found the mates to two gloves, my gaiters (they're for trail shoes) and the Velcro to attach the gaiters. Nice!

I also tidied the rest of my closet. There was a ton of dirty clothes, and some clean clothes that I had changed out of because I felt fat in them.....

So, now it's your turn!!!! Pick an area to declutter! What will it be? And take your own before and after shots! It's awesome to see the difference just a little work can make! It feels so good to have things more organized! If you're going to declutter, comment on this post with your area! :) If you have an area that is a constant source of bother to you, set some time aside and tackle it!!

Then reward yourself with something. I would choose food.

Dinner Tonight:

Grilled Chicken

Tortillas

Salad

Housewifery Part 1- Creating a Routine

So, I have to tell you something.

I am lazy.

It is something I've learned to overcome (most of the time), but deep down, it's always there.

And here's something else.... I'm a housewife. That term doesn't bother me at all. Actually I kind of like it. I know it conjures up all kinds of stereotypes involving bon bons and soap operas, but that's ok, I don't fit any of those. So ha.



When I quit my job to be a housewife in 1999, I knew within a few weeks that I needed to create some kind of structure for my day, because I would often sleep in really late, watch a lot of TV, and then scramble to get all of my chores done late in the day. (at this time in our life, we actually go rid of our TV for about 3 years!)

I read a few books on the subject, and began to realize that I needed to see my time as a commodity to be scheduled, planned with, and budgeted, just like money. I couldn't just decide whether or not I would have time to do something based on how I felt, I would need to put together a basic framework of the things I had to do so that I could see how much time I had left over for discretionary activities.

I understand that some people are naturally organized, and may not need such a structured schedule, but if you are constantly feeling like you get to the end of your day and still have a million things to do, and if you feel overwhelmed by the basic chores of running your house, a scheduled routine may be just what you need!

After I put together a structured schedule, it was so freeing!! I could no longer claim I "didn't have time" to do certain basic things, because I saw how much time I did have, and how wastefully I was spending that time.  It allowed me, instead,  to choose how I was going to use my hours and minutes, as opposed to just attending to the problem that was howling the loudest for my attention. Charles Hummel calls this the "Tyranny of the Urgent", this way of spending your time. You don't have a plan, so you just address the activities that seem the most urgent each day. And you and I both know that these things will press in on your time. Things that seem urgent.

So how do you go about creating a schedule or routine? For me, I started with 15 minute blocks of time, and almost immediately went to half hour blocks of time. I found a template, like this:

http://www.mintprintables.com/calendars/day-planners/ 

Then I filled it in! I would start with the things that you NEED to do first. I made one copy of the schedule for each day of the week, because there were some days that had certain activities that weren't an every day thing, like grocery shopping, or bible study, things like that. This was particularly helpful in establishing a home school routine, and an exercise routine. I would review the next day's schedule before I went to bed the night before, this way I was prepared for what was ahead! And if someone called wanting to have lunch, or needing me to take a meal to a family, or wanting me to go to the park, I could easily look at my schedule and tell if; (1) I had the time to do that thing, and (2) how much time I could commit to doing something. I could also move some chores and responsibilities around if I had time slots available to do so.

I don't follow a strict schedule anymore, mostly because it has become almost innate after doing it for many years. I usually create a schedule at the beginning of the school year, for the purpose of seeing what activities will fit, and where. Writing this though, makes me think I should pull out my schedule and follow it strictly for a few weeks and see how much more I could get done!

If you are married, I would really encourage you to block off a few half hour segments each week to do things that would help your husband. It's really nice to be able to ask him, "hey, is there anything I could do today that would make your life easier?" Sometimes there won't be anything they need, but often they could benefit from some errands being run, looking up information that they need for work, certain articles of clothing being clean, or just making something special for dinner! I have used my "Wade" blocks of time to pick up his favorite magazine and a nice card for him to find in his lunch pail, or on the counter when he gets home. It's nice to have some time specifically set aside to care for your husband. :)

I would  also encourage you to think (really get alone and think) about your time, and how you spend it. Sit for awhile and figure out what things are important to you. Is it time with your kids? Exercise? Cooking more? Having some down time to read? Make up your schedule, and see, realistically, how you can fit the things you want to do around the things you have to do. One thing I decided a long time ago is that, to me, relationships with other people are a priority. You're not just going to magically have time to invest in relationships with others though, so for me, I started out with picking one day of the week and trying to purposefully spend an hour with someone I don't see very often. Lunch, or coffee, or whatever. It was really eye opening how I could EASILY do that with a little bit of planning! I picked some time, didn't schedule other things during that time, and I had the freedom to call friends and see if they wanted to spend an hour together!

I am definitely NOT perfect at keeping my routine every single day. No one is (even if they seem like it). But it's just like starting to budget your money- establishing what your goals are, and making a plan to accomplish them, IS important.

Elisabeth Elliot talks about time, in her book, Discipline and explains that there are two ancient concepts of time,
"One, expressed by the Greek word chronos, refers to "the minutes of our hours" or the notion of duration and succession. The other, kairos, is what Dr. James Houston calls "time evaluated," signifying instrumentation and purpose. "Man needs to see himself significant in the light of events, of kairos, seeing himself hopefully in the context of a greater reality that his own temporality, of chronos."

In other words, we need to spend the minutes and hours of our lives doing something meaningful, something with purpose and with lasting value. We shouldn't fritter away our days putting out the next fire that stems from our own poor planning. (ouch, that hits home with me- I have so often been guilty of this!)

We only have so much time in our lives. We should make every effort to spend it doing things that matter.

DINNER TONIGHT:
Grilled Chicken
Homemade tortillas
Salad

Menu Making (aka: avoiding the 5 o'clock dinner panic...)

So, let's talk about dinner. We all need to eat, right? (some of us  more than others..... you do NOT want to see me when I need food. It's ugly....)

I have experienced that feeling you get around 5 o'clock when you realize that the people in your house are going to want to eat again, soon, and you don't have anything thawed, prepared, or ready to cook. Do you go to the store and get a frozen lasagna? Try and pass off pb&j (which you had for lunch) as dinner? Hope that someone will come over for a surprise visit and bring a pot pie with them? (I have thought all of these things at some point....)

Well, simply put, you can pretty much avoid that with a little planning. I plan my menus two weeks at a time, mostly because I don't want to interact with grocery lists and meal planning more than twice per month. You could totally do every week if that works better for you. Plus, then I only have one big shopping day every two weeks. I still run to the store for milk, produce, TP (you can only make do with the other paper products in the house for so long....) etc. when I need to, but I don't have to be running out at the last minute to find something for dinner.

So what I do is collect recipes. I find them online, from friends, in magazines. When we were first married, I used to go to the library and check out cookbooks every week to find different recipes that we liked. A few really good sources on the internet are http://www.allrecipes.com/ and http://www.eatingwell.com/ . I really like those websites. My favorite magazine for recipes is Cooking Light. They give the nutritional value of all the recipes, which is nice if you are doing calories or Weight Watchers, or you just want to know how many calories there are in what you're eating. (If you don't want to know, just hold your hand over that part of the recipe so you can't see it ha ha)

So I have a file folder STUFFED with copies of recipes. Here it is:

My husband is always trying to get me to organize my recipe file so that it is easier to find recipes, but I resist organization. I LIKE sifting through the recipes and being able to take out the one I want and hold it and set it on the counter and spill stuff on it. I know I'm weird.

I usually use a few cookbooks from my huge collection too:

(note the messy, stained file folder in the background)

So then I look at the recipes and figure out what I'm going to make. For two weeks, I generally plan 11 meals. I figure there will be a few days where we eat leftovers, or eat at a friend's house, or eat out. If I'm using a recipe from a cookbook, or from the internet, I note, next to the dinner, what cookbook and what page it's from ,because I'll forget! As I'm doing this, I have my grocery list going too. As I find recipes, I get up and go check the pantry to see if I have some of the items I need, or if I need to buy them. (This way you don't end up with 12 jars of pasta sauce, or 17 packages of linguine. It's also cheaper if you're using what you have)

So at the end of this process I have a page that has a list of meals, and another page that is my shopping list. Then I walk around the house to all the restrooms and see what toiletries, paper goods, etc we need so that I can only buy what we need, and not have 22 bottles of hand soap. I try and do this a day or two before grocery day. I also keep a running list going on my fridge so that I don't forget that we need vanilla, or foil, or something that you don't realize you're out of until you NEED it. I encourage the members of my family (or some friends who are LIKE family) to write things on the list if they use the last of something. (...and by encourage I mean- if I see them use the last of something, I holler "write that on the list!!")

So then I make a dry erase board (it's small) with a list of all the meals and put it on the fridge. I used to assign certain meals to certain days, but I have found that I don't always want to eat/cook what's assigned to a certain day. It's easier if I can just look at the list each morning and decide what I am going to make for that day. If there's a meal that has an ingredient that will go bad quickly, I try and make that first in the rotation. Also, for days that I know I will be super busy, I plan simple meals, or something for the crock pot. Here's my dry erase board from this last menu. I just cross off the meals after I cook them. If there's any left on the board, I "forward" them to the next grocery day meal list.

So that's pretty much it!!

I have several menus that I have put into document form that you can just print out and use if anyone is interested! I will be happy to email them to you! Just email me at sharitodd@hotmail.com if you would like them!

Question for you all- do you have a "staple" meal that is pretty much on your table a few times a month? If so, what is it??