A Few Good Reads....

I love to read.

It's one of the things that gets squeezed out of my life when I allow myself to get over committed. I hate that.

So one of the things I have decided recently is that I am going to carve out some time in the evening or late afternoon to read. I have several books already going...now I just need to finish them!

Here's what I'm reading right now.

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard Swenson. I've read this book before, it's full of great reasons why your life shouldn't be scheduled and planned to the very edges of your time. (hence the title- you need "margin" so that you have some wiggle room if things don't go EXACTLY  as planned...) I know that I struggle with this constantly, and I have to be purposeful about not allowing myself to be completely overbooked.


Running Through the Wall: Personal Encounters with the Ultramarathon This is a book that contains over 40 personal stories of runners who have completed Ultramarathons. It is inspiring and motivating, and gives me something to dream about! An Ultramarathon is any distance over 26.2 miles (most commonly a 50k is the next recognized distance, which is 31 miles) and often these races will take place on beautiful trails in scenic areas. One of my not-too-distant goals is to run a 100 mile race, so reading this book makes me even more excited about realizing that goal!


The High School Handbook: For Junior High, Too This is a book I've read back and forth, but now that Christopher is nearly a senior, I am reviewing it yet again. It has a lot of helpful tips for planning to homeschool through the high school years.

I can't wait for summer!! I would love to get a summer reading list going- do you have any favorite reads, or books that are on your shelf waiting to be read? Comment with your top picks!!

May Burnout Syndrome

There is a strange thing that happens every May.

And it hit me this year.

.....HARD.

I refer to it as May Burnout Syndrome. You know, you're plugging away at your lessons with the kids, keeping house, cooking, doing all of your activities......

.....and then WHAM!!



I think one of the hardest parts, for me, is that the insecurity and guilt I feel constantly, because I know I am not doing the same quality of teaching that I was in September. Also, I have a much shorter fuse with the boys during May Burnout Syndrome (MBS).

....I learned something this year though. You know what makes MBS even worse?

Pride.

When I get burned out, I tend to put my nose to the grindstone, and think, "I CAN DO THIS." The unspoken sentiment, that should be tacked on to the end of that is... "all by myself..."

I don't know why it's so hard for me to admit I can't do everything myself, but it is. So here's what happens- I pray for God to encourage me, to help me, to lighten my burden. I have faith that He will do just that. I wait.

...and then I rebuff every effort He makes to send me encouragement and care if it involves allowing others to help me! Brilliant Shari! Well done!!

I've done it for years. Thankfully, God has been showing me how to STOP doing that! I am working on it!

Here are a few other tips for coping with MBS:

•  Cut yourself some slack. Newsflash- nobody is perfect! No one does it all or has it all. So if I don't do every "extra" project listed on the schedule, or if I can't check all my chores off my "to-do" list every single day, it will be ok. Really. Also, if you need a break (this is a big one for me- I don't "do" down time for myself well...) TAKE ONE!!
•  Talk to other like-minded people.  If your MBS revolves around homeschooling, it's great to talk to other homeschool moms- they can encourage you and understand exactly where you're at. I know that's been so helpful for me!
•  Be realistic about what you're expecting. I tend to expect the same effort level from myself and my kids year round. Even though I know deep down that it is completely ridiculous. I think I have this secret hope that maybe if I try hard enough, I won't ever mess up. I know that's totally lame! I'm just being honest about what drives me.
•  Remember why you homeschool in the first place. This is a biggie. I didn't homeschool so that I could show people how great I can be as a teacher. I've never wanted to be a carbon copy of a traditional school setting. I have no desire to make my kids carry the burden of being perfect so that I can look like a great homeschooling mom. What I do want is to spend time with my kids, educate them with academic excellence, but have FUN with them too- make good memories and build a strong relationship with them both. I am good at that sometimes, and really bad sometimes.
• If someone offers you help that you NEED, accept it! Like I said, I've been working on this one. I'm going to keep working on it too.

MBS is survivable. I know from experience.

.....Summer's coming. Just hang on.

Go try on some bathing suits. That'll distract you. Ha ha.

I Homeschool (But It's Not What You Think).....

I don't wear denim jumpers. (Although there have been some unfortunate denim overalls in my past)

We are NOTHING like ANY of the people who "represent" homeschoolers on Wife Swap.

My kids are not wild, unsocialized, unable to tolerate the real world, or excessively introverted.

I need to knock the ugly off sometimes I wear makeup.

I am not interested in isolating or brainwashing my boys.

Generally, people find us normal (most of the time) and are SHOCKED when I tell them we homeschool. Why is that?? Are homeschoolers really that weird?

My favorite reaction to the fact that we homeschool is this; some dear person will spend the better part of 10 minutes conversing with one of my kids. Dear person will then declare how pleasant the conversation was, how articulate my son is, how respectful and engaged he seemed in the conversation. The topic will fall to where the kids go to school. I announce that they are homeschooled. After a slightly shocked look flits across dear person's face, he/she will exclaim, "but, what about SOCIALIZATION??!" Ha ha. That's a good one. Because you know, only a peer group can socialize a child, right?? What am I, an alien? (if you know me in real life, don't answer that.......)

There are good homeschooled kids. There are bad ones. Same goes for public school kids, private school kids, and all of the parents that "go" with these kids.

I don't think that homeschooling is the Holy Grail, I just think that it works for my kids, for our family, and it's been a good experience for us. I think that if our life situation had been different, and my kids would have had to attend a traditional school, they would still very much be wonderful people. I realize that homeschooling isn't for everyone, nor should it be.

I am not offended or defensive when people are genuinely curious about the ins and outs of homeschooling. It seems understandable to me that people want to know how it works; if I'm accountable to someone, how I know what to teach. etc. I am also comfortable with the fact that not everyone agrees with homeschooling, and that some people think it is somehow putting my kids at a disadvantage. I disagree, but I have made these decisions for myself, and I don't feel insecure or threatened when others express their opinions.

I don't secretly look down on people who have kids in public school. My best friend has always had her kids in public school, and I have constantly admired how involved she is with her kids' education, and how much she is a part of what goes on, every day, in the details of their lives. I also love that she has encouraged me over the years about homeschooling, even though it's not her thing.

I don't educate my kids perfectly. I DO, however, care about their education, and I care about their development as human beings, who will one day live on their own in the world.

What I hope for the most is that my boys have discovered how to learn, how to love truth, how to seek answers. That it's OK if the conclusion they come to isn't the one listed in the "this is why such-and-such happened" section in the book.  Or the one that *I* have come to. Or the one that all their friends have come to. I truly wish for them to be both critical thinkers, and humble. To me that means realizing they don't have all the answers, but NEITHER does everyone else.

I homeschool my kids. But it's not what you think.

Housewifery Part 1- Creating a Routine

So, I have to tell you something.

I am lazy.

It is something I've learned to overcome (most of the time), but deep down, it's always there.

And here's something else.... I'm a housewife. That term doesn't bother me at all. Actually I kind of like it. I know it conjures up all kinds of stereotypes involving bon bons and soap operas, but that's ok, I don't fit any of those. So ha.



When I quit my job to be a housewife in 1999, I knew within a few weeks that I needed to create some kind of structure for my day, because I would often sleep in really late, watch a lot of TV, and then scramble to get all of my chores done late in the day. (at this time in our life, we actually go rid of our TV for about 3 years!)

I read a few books on the subject, and began to realize that I needed to see my time as a commodity to be scheduled, planned with, and budgeted, just like money. I couldn't just decide whether or not I would have time to do something based on how I felt, I would need to put together a basic framework of the things I had to do so that I could see how much time I had left over for discretionary activities.

I understand that some people are naturally organized, and may not need such a structured schedule, but if you are constantly feeling like you get to the end of your day and still have a million things to do, and if you feel overwhelmed by the basic chores of running your house, a scheduled routine may be just what you need!

After I put together a structured schedule, it was so freeing!! I could no longer claim I "didn't have time" to do certain basic things, because I saw how much time I did have, and how wastefully I was spending that time.  It allowed me, instead,  to choose how I was going to use my hours and minutes, as opposed to just attending to the problem that was howling the loudest for my attention. Charles Hummel calls this the "Tyranny of the Urgent", this way of spending your time. You don't have a plan, so you just address the activities that seem the most urgent each day. And you and I both know that these things will press in on your time. Things that seem urgent.

So how do you go about creating a schedule or routine? For me, I started with 15 minute blocks of time, and almost immediately went to half hour blocks of time. I found a template, like this:

http://www.mintprintables.com/calendars/day-planners/ 

Then I filled it in! I would start with the things that you NEED to do first. I made one copy of the schedule for each day of the week, because there were some days that had certain activities that weren't an every day thing, like grocery shopping, or bible study, things like that. This was particularly helpful in establishing a home school routine, and an exercise routine. I would review the next day's schedule before I went to bed the night before, this way I was prepared for what was ahead! And if someone called wanting to have lunch, or needing me to take a meal to a family, or wanting me to go to the park, I could easily look at my schedule and tell if; (1) I had the time to do that thing, and (2) how much time I could commit to doing something. I could also move some chores and responsibilities around if I had time slots available to do so.

I don't follow a strict schedule anymore, mostly because it has become almost innate after doing it for many years. I usually create a schedule at the beginning of the school year, for the purpose of seeing what activities will fit, and where. Writing this though, makes me think I should pull out my schedule and follow it strictly for a few weeks and see how much more I could get done!

If you are married, I would really encourage you to block off a few half hour segments each week to do things that would help your husband. It's really nice to be able to ask him, "hey, is there anything I could do today that would make your life easier?" Sometimes there won't be anything they need, but often they could benefit from some errands being run, looking up information that they need for work, certain articles of clothing being clean, or just making something special for dinner! I have used my "Wade" blocks of time to pick up his favorite magazine and a nice card for him to find in his lunch pail, or on the counter when he gets home. It's nice to have some time specifically set aside to care for your husband. :)

I would  also encourage you to think (really get alone and think) about your time, and how you spend it. Sit for awhile and figure out what things are important to you. Is it time with your kids? Exercise? Cooking more? Having some down time to read? Make up your schedule, and see, realistically, how you can fit the things you want to do around the things you have to do. One thing I decided a long time ago is that, to me, relationships with other people are a priority. You're not just going to magically have time to invest in relationships with others though, so for me, I started out with picking one day of the week and trying to purposefully spend an hour with someone I don't see very often. Lunch, or coffee, or whatever. It was really eye opening how I could EASILY do that with a little bit of planning! I picked some time, didn't schedule other things during that time, and I had the freedom to call friends and see if they wanted to spend an hour together!

I am definitely NOT perfect at keeping my routine every single day. No one is (even if they seem like it). But it's just like starting to budget your money- establishing what your goals are, and making a plan to accomplish them, IS important.

Elisabeth Elliot talks about time, in her book, Discipline and explains that there are two ancient concepts of time,
"One, expressed by the Greek word chronos, refers to "the minutes of our hours" or the notion of duration and succession. The other, kairos, is what Dr. James Houston calls "time evaluated," signifying instrumentation and purpose. "Man needs to see himself significant in the light of events, of kairos, seeing himself hopefully in the context of a greater reality that his own temporality, of chronos."

In other words, we need to spend the minutes and hours of our lives doing something meaningful, something with purpose and with lasting value. We shouldn't fritter away our days putting out the next fire that stems from our own poor planning. (ouch, that hits home with me- I have so often been guilty of this!)

We only have so much time in our lives. We should make every effort to spend it doing things that matter.

DINNER TONIGHT:
Grilled Chicken
Homemade tortillas
Salad

The Huntington Botanical Gardens..... AMAZING!!

So, today, the boys and I went to the "free day" at The Huntington Botanical Gardens. It is a truly awesome place, I mean, seriously amazing. Here's a link to their website:
http://www.huntington.org/huntingtonlibrary.aspx?id=210&linkidentifier=id&itemid=210

It was 31 degrees out when we woke up (I know, I know, all you people living where it's like -20 are cursing my wimpy SoCal flip flop mentality...) and I was figuring we would just bundle up and make the best of it, since it would most likely be windy too. I was totally wrong, it turned out to be a beautiful day!!

These were on the path right before the Chinese Garden, which was incredibly beautiful. There was a huge pond with fish and two hand-laid flooring sections with really neat pebbles and wood designs.....

Everywhere you walked, there were different things to see.... so incredible!

So next, we decided to take a walk through the rainforest. I had curled my hair really nicely this morning. Then we went in the rainforest. Yeah, not so great for the hair. But so many amazing things were growing and blooming in that environment:

They also had these cool things that had you smell some of the plant products that are grown in rainforests, like cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, and coffee. The boys really liked those!

After the rainforest, we took in the lily pond and the desert garden....

It was a great day! I definitely want to start going here more often, so that we can see all of the different flowers and plants that are in bloom during the year. I am really, really thankful that both of my kids love the beauty of nature and are just as awed over it (if not more!) than I am. It made today's field trip a pleasure!

If you are interested in going on one of the free days, here's where you can find the info to get the tickets:
http://www.huntington.org/huntingtonlibrary_02.aspx?id=844&linkidentifier=id&itemid=844