I mean, should I be super profound? Contemplative? Weepy? Rah rah?
...then I realized. I should just be myself. Duh.
So, when your life radically changes, you learn lots of things. Some of them pleasant.
Some, not so pleasant (as in, they suck).
Here, in no particular order, are some of the lessons I've learned over the last year.
- Divorce is tough. There's really no way around that truth. Even if you have justifiable reasons, and you know it's the right choice, it is difficult for everyone involved.
- When your life changes dramatically, you learn who your true friends are. That is both beautiful and painful.
- I am valuable because God created me. I am worthy because Jesus died for me. After seeing nearly all of the other sources I've looked to for my value and worthiness yanked from my life, I can now say with certainty, I understand the true source of my value and worth. That's a very powerful, freeing reality in which to live.
- I don't have control over everything. (I hate this by the way.) I have control over my attitude and the integrity with which I handle my choices. But life circumstances in general, and especially other people's choices, are out of my control.
- I have spent a very long time creating a huge set of standards for myself that God never expected of me. Therefore, I have spent a very long time feeling imperfect, guilty, and always needing to be better and do more. I am learning to rest in the easy yoke of God's expectations.
- Forgiveness is beautiful. And necessary. And difficult.
- Even when you're moving forward with your life, grief and sadness come. It is okay and healthy to grieve, and to cry. Actually, more than okay- it is essential.
- God provides. That sounds general and all-encompassing. It is.
- Living in the truth is a hard road sometimes. Not everyone wants to join the ride on that road. But the truth is the only way to go. Delusion, being fake, shielding yourself or your kids from reality isn't healthy. And eventually, you have to face the truth anyhow to truly move on.
- Having people in your life who will tell you the truth, even if it hurts your feelings, or makes you mad, or makes you cry.... well, that's a gift. More than a gift, it is invaluable.
- I've learned how it feels to be judged. I will be very careful not to judge others in the future.
- My kids are incredible, resilient people, who constantly amaze me.
- Life goes on, whether I am bitter and resentful and angry, or forgiving and kind and joyful.
- I love my life. I am thankful for the opportunities God gives me to have joy and peace and fulfillment and that He has shown me a path to walk. God is incredibly good. Truly.